Sunday, 2 October 2011

Clone 2 - Chapter 2

So how are you settling in?
Its a nightmare and I hate it!!
That bad!!
Yes it is that bad!!

I am the only one who can cook, the only one that cleans or bothers to wash their clothes, and now I know I am the only sane one in this place - the trouble is how am I going to keep myself sane living with this lot???!!
Not bonding with your housemates then!!
They are all stark raving mad - its hard to even get a decent conversation out of them!!

Did you see that - Viola just peed herself again!!
Yes they all do it constantly it stinks in here, they don't clean it up either!!!
Open a window then and let some fresh air in.
I can't they are barred haven't you noticed!!

Just watch this - I'll tell Viola to clean her mess up and see what she does
Eeeww Marty you are stood in it!!
You can't help it in this place there are puddles everywhere!!

See - she goes off on one, hurls a load of gibberish at me that I really don't understand, then she walks off and just  leaves the puddle.
Maybe you should clean it up then.
Don't you think I am sick of cleaning up after them already!!!.

Man they should be wearing nappies!!!!
I suppose there are going to be accidents when you only have one toilet for eight of you.
Accidents they are not accidents - they don't even bother to go to the toilet, they just do it wherever!!

Marty what are you doing?
I am trying to see what pleasure they get out of doing this!
No I just felt like strangling myself - I can not take it in here
Pack it in Marty you are supposed to be proving you are sane not insane!!

Just look at them - They all congregate in the hallway and I can not work out why?
Maybe they are plotting to escape.
No, I think they know the gates are locked and they rarely go out the front door, they just stand around and its not like they talk to each other much either or interact with each other, they just stand there rocking and talking to themselves  - its like they are in their own little worlds.
They probably are!!

Lex is a little gormless - "Hello - is there anybody in there??!!"  
You know I can talk to them and half the time it doesn't seem to register

That looks cosy!!
Viola keeps following me around, she is driving me mad!!
Maybe she likes you!!
I doubt it when the only time she ever communicates with me is to shout or argue with me!!
That might be because she is inappropriate and has no sense of humour.

"Move it fruitcake, I need the sink"
He is not listening to you is he!!
No they never do 
"Rocky move, stop pulling faces at yourself in the mirror!!"

What is Rocky doing now?
Talking and arguing with himself, probably because he just peed himself, can't you see the puddle he is standing in.
Oh yeah
See he just spent all that time in the bathroom pulling faces at himself, but he never once attempted to use the toilet while he was in there - now I have another puddle of pee to clean up because I doubt he is going to do it!!

Viola is telling Rocky off for peeing himself when she does it just as much as he does.  You know this lot would be quite comical to watch if I was on the outside looking in, but as I am having to live among them, it is not funny in the slightest!!!

Has Rocky just passed out?
That is something else they tend to do a lot, let themselves get so exhausted they fall asleep on their feet instead of gong to bed, but sometimes I suppose they can not help it because there really are not enough beds for everyone!!!!  Talking of sleep I need to jump in a free bed while there is one I have work tomorrow.
Looking forward to starting work?
I can't wait - it is going to get me out of this place for a few hours everyday!!

I would love to be doing this for the last time - walking out these gates and never come back!!
Well don't even attempt it - you try to do a runner and they will take away your work privilege. get stuck in this place 24/7 then you will be in trouble!!!
Yes I know and I wouldn't get far anyway because when the gates will open there is always a car waiting outside for me - it sucks!!!

Did you enjoy your first day of work at the science facility?
Yeah it was ok, it was great to be around sane people for a change!!  So what have the fruitcakes been getting up to while I have been at work anything?

Not much happened really, there was only one bit of entertainment.  Liam and coconut were getting a little flirty with each other until Liam tried to give coconut some flowers, she went ballistic at him and they ended up having an argument with each other while they were stood in a puddle of pee.
Flowers - where did he get flowers?
Out of the garden I should imagine - where else would they come from its not like he can go shopping is it!!??

I guess you were not expecting that!!!
No the last thing I expect to find when I walk into the kitchen is a naked woman!!!
She is taking a sponge bath in the kitchen sink

I can see what she is doing - why the kitchen sink she should be doing that in the bathroom!!!!
I think the bathroom is a little crowded at the moment.
Still she could have waited and I wish she would hurry up I am starving!!

I think Viola is very embarrassed.
So she shuold be - I ask you why do it in the kitchen sink, someone was bound to walk in on her, I just wished it had not been me!!
What are you cooking?
Mac and Cheese.

Lex wants to sit down and he thinks standing there stamping his feet is going to get him his seat.
"Lex go find somewhere else to sit idiot, you're annoying me!!"

Maybe you should try and communicate with them a little better.
Do you want to try having a proper conversation with one of them??
All you ever do is snap and shout at them!!!
It is the only thing they understand - they are worse than children!!!

I take your advice and try to talk to Viola nicely and see what happens!!!!!

What did just happen?
She just tried to kiss me!!
I told you she liked you!!

Stop Laughing its not funny!!!



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Or just say hi to let me know you passed by.
Thank you for reading!!


  1. OMG Julie I was laughing the whole time, this is hilarious! I absolutely love it!

  2. I've thought about making Sammy do the Asylum challenge - looks entertaining enough from our point of view.

  3. They're hilarious, Julie. I needed something funny to read too.

  4. LOL! Hilarious. Is it wrong to be enjoying Marty's torture?